The things we take for granted …

Hey friends and strangers :) 

So today is the day I go on a new journey. But before I get into that I think I’d like to start here, on a bit of another subject and then ease into a new one. Because today is day that is one a little exciting and nerve-racking for me but also a very sad day and I don’t want to write this blog while disregarding this part. 

August 24th is my friend Luis’ birthday. Today though, I can’t call him or text him at the very least. Today I cannot wish him a Happy Birthday because last year he passed away. Instead I’m left with text and audio messages in my phone, memories of conversations and laughter but no him. He’s the first person I’ve unexpectedly lost that I was close to and it really is heartbreaking. We went from saying we needed to catch up on things to no longer having the option to. I’ve got photos but you can’t talk to those. They don’t talk back when you say hello…

A phone with your number in it but no you on the other side of the line. Life really is so fragile. I didn’t know if I should write about this because I didn’t know if I would taint how close to my heart this is with the other things I’m about to get into. But being who you were I know you would’ve been overly hyping me up and excited for me. I know you’d be happy about the steps I’m taking. Thanks for being my friend, thanks for listening and talking for hours and hours. For telling stories and sharing laughs with me. You said that I was your friend when you needed friends most, you’d never forget me and I’d always have a special place in your heart. But you will always have a special place in mine and I wish I could tell you that today. Thanks for the memories. They’re tucked away and not out on display for all to see but instead play over again in my head to bring me a smile.  And there with you they continue to forever live on in my heart.

We tend to take so much for granted. From the bed we lay on at night to the friend we talk to or haven’t talk to because we lost track of time and they’ll be there tomorrow. It’s the person you don’t call because your upset and can’t find any humility in you only to be heartbroken when the option to reconcile no longer exists. The latter seems so heavy. However there are so many things that seem like not a big deal until you realize how much it really means to someone else or until you no longer have them. The bed you sleep on for example. Someone else in this world wishes they had it. But you probably jump in there every night with no thought about it. The color of your room that you hate, someone else wishes they could just see it. So this leads me where I’m getting. The health we do have or have had and taken for granted. The life we’re given but take for granted. Though I find myself thanking God for SO many more things everyday and just overall being extra grateful, I know that I still take much for granted. 

My health is probably somewhere at the top of this list. I’ve known this for a while but have not given enough effort to change it. On top of that it has effected -at times- the life that I’ve been given. From the photo I don’t want to be a part every now and then (I’ve gotten a tad better at this) to the activity I’ve stayed away from on vacation because I feel self conscious. So I thought about how it must be for other people. I can’t be the only one who has said I’m going to do better come Monday only to have decided to be grateful for chocolate cake on Friday and eat too many slices. I thought about the people who are too self conscious to wear their dream dress or outfit to the people who don’t have the energy or stamina to run around with their children. The guy or girl who has attached their value to the way they look. The person who is too intimidated to do things because they’re scared they’ll look funny or embarrass themselves. If they’re like me they’ve both tried and failed. I don’t know why we don’t stick with it. Maybe we just lack the discipline or forget that it’s something we wanted to change when life seems to be going great. I know I’m not the only one who’s been frustrated with myself for not having stuck it through months after forgetting all about ever wanting to be healthier. Now don’t get me wrong, if you’re happy where you are at by all means continue. Also I’m not talking down on anyone either this is just for the people who are not happy where they are and want to change. So I’ve decided that I do want to make a change and that I can change if I just want to and act on that. Saturday I uploaded a video to YouTube that I’ll leave below. If you’re here and you find you too have taken your health for granted and want to change but feel a little lost... Then I hope you’ll come along on this journey with me. I’m a little lost too. Not really sure how I’m going to get to my destination exactly but hoping we can figure it out together. Every week I’ll be taking a new step ... moving closer to where I want to be. A small  step okay. We’re talking LIT-TLE! If you’d like to join me on this journey you can follow me on instagram @makingval and we can figure out how to read this map together. 

Love and hugs, 

Valerie 

PS: to this missing someone an extra lot today sending you an extra hug and prayer.... 

So I wanted to note here that this video is pretty long and you don’t have to watch it all lol but hopefully the following weeks have been an improvement and you can feel free to browse around my channel.

Also…

I’m completing adding in the first photo and adding the video while on week 4 of my journey … finally decided I needed to be more consistent with my blog as well.

Looking back at this post again brings me to tears and again makes me feel weird and almost wrong showing a YouTube video beside a post about a friend who is no longer here with me. However, I had initially planned to complete this on the day I wrote this out and couldn’t bring myself to write up something happy and exciting for me without taking note of the sadness and weight the day brought and continue to feel. I couldn’t ignore the memory of a Luis’ life that I somehow got lucky to be a part of even if just for a little while.